There are so many things that I have done in the past years, such as starting to practice gratitude, meditation, journaling, loosely (initially) setting goals, 18 for 18 (completing 18 things in 2018) and so on
Reflection wasn't something I did, so in 2020 I felt that it was the year to start:
By understanding the growth I have gone through certainly helps to see where the future is going to take me.
Plans for 2021 are well on the way, and trust me there will be amazing things to come, including my monthly workshops. Yes you read correctly - monthly workshops.
Most importantly though, is that I enter 2021 with the following intentions:
Have you ever heard of love languages? We all speak them and we all have a different love language.
Let's be honest here - I didn't know about love languages until I was already separated from my ex-husband. And sometimes I think, if I would have know about them, things could have probably turned out different - or delayed circumstances, who really knows.
But the more I understood them, the more I realised that it is so important to understand what your own love language is in order to built strong relationships in our life’s. We will be able to better communicate what our needs are and how others can meet them. But we will also be able to better understand the love languages of the people surrounding us and can meet theirs - this includes our family and friends alike.
Not understanding someone’s love language is similar to actually speaking another language and no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to communicate effectively.
I will explain to you what the love languages are and which ones are mine - I actually have a primary and secondary love language. And believe it or not, my love language I like to receive is different to the language I like to show others.
The 5 Love Languages are as follows:
Spending time with the people that are important to me is essential. But it is not spending time just for the sake of it - put the phone away and have a deep conversation, go for a walk or coffee with me, explore the city, watch the sunrise or whatever else you can think of to spend time with me and show me that you care.
When your partners or friends love language is Quality Time, they want just that - your time and full attention while you are spending it together. Of course watching a movie together is considered Quality Time as well but more often then not it is the experiences that come with it.
I enjoy all that this love language has to offer. From embracing hugs, via holding hands in public to a little pat on the shoulder. Receiving loving touches here and there is one of the most beautiful things to me. I could cuddle for hours and not speak a word, just enjoying the moment and the closeness of the other person.
If the people in your life enjoy that type of closeness, showing affection in public on a regular basis, chances are great that Physical Touch is their love language.
Acts of Service
This Love Language is all about giving a part of you and DOING something for your spouse or friends. Washing the dishes, making the dinner or ironing their shirts.
More often than not, when people ‘nag’ about a chore that has not been done by their partner, it is not about the chore itself but about the feeling of being loved by the person completing it for you. If this is your partners love language but not yours, go out of your way to help them with chores, make them breakfast in bed, whatever it is that you hear your partner say would help them in their day to day to alleviate their workload.
Whilst this love language is not on my priority when it comes to receiving acts of service - I actually get a little awkward sometimes when people do things for me - I love providing acts of service. This Love language is how I show my friends and other people that are important to me, what they mean to me. So in my case, one of my love languages that I like to give is not one that I enjoy receiving.
Words of Affirmation
I actually thought that this one was high up for me on the list, especially based on the fact that I didn’t receive many encouraging words as a child. But it turns out other love languages are more important to me. The area in my life I do enjoy words of affirmation is around work.
We often have a love language that we get to experience during our childhood, so if you have received words of affirmation from your parents, chances are it is your love language.
Words of affirmation can be so important for a lot of people. In order to feel secure in being loved, they need to hear it on a regular basis.
This Love Language is an interesting one to me. It doesn’t really need much explanation, you like receiving gifts from your loved ones and that shows you how much they care.
This one scored the lowest for me at 0% in a test and yes of course I like receiving gifts, however if I would have to give up one of the 5 first, it would be this one. Gifts are still an important love language to me, as I really enjoy giving gifts to others, it would be secondary to Acts of service. I really get a kick out of doing small things for others and giving them gifts, whilst neither of those two are extremely important to me to receive. Go figure.
What love language do you speak? Do you have a different love language you like to receive vs. the one you like to give?
If you are still unsure what your love language is, that’s ok. You can take a quiz in order to determine your love language. Just jump on the link, or check out my instagram and click the related link in my profile and you will get re-directed to Dr. Chapman’s website, the man who we have to thank for realising that we all have a different love language.
I also linked each of the love languages so you get some more detailed information on what they are and how you can speak the respective love language in a romantic relationship.
I am Jennifer Demiri - Jen - and I am the Founder of Create Again - Breakup Recovery, Mindset & Life Coaching.